How to sleep next to someone who snores

What’s going on

If you’re reading this at 2 a.m., you’re not alone. In a 2025 AASM survey, nearly a third of adults said they’ve chosen a separate bed or room to accommodate a partner. More than a third said they go to bed at a different time than they’d like for the same reason.

Snoring is common. The AASM says about 40% of adult men and 24% of adult women snore habitually. Many don’t realize they do it. The AAO-HNS notes that snoring leads many couples to sleep in separate rooms and can strain a relationship.

Your partner isn’t snoring on purpose, and you’re not being dramatic. You both need sleep. The goal is to get you through tonight, then help your partner find out why it’s happening.

What helps tonight

1. Earplugs. Earplugs can take the edge off snoring. Foam plugs are cheap and disposable. Reusable silicone ones, like Loop Dream in the pick box, are designed for side sleepers. Keep them clean and follow the maker’s fit directions.
2. Steady background sound. A fan, a white noise machine or a pink noise app gives your ears something constant to hear. Some people find this masks the stop-and-start of snoring better than silence.
3. Sleep earbuds. If plugs feel too blocked, sleep earbuds like Ozlo Sleepbuds play steady, soothing sound through small, low-profile buds. They need charging.
4. Go to bed first. Falling asleep before the snoring starts may make it easier to stay asleep.
5. Nudge, don’t shove. Snoring is often worse when someone sleeps on their back. A gentle nudge to roll onto their side can quiet things for a while.
6. Use a separate room without guilt. The AASM calls a “sleep divorce” a matter of mutual respect for the sleep space, not a sign of a troubled relationship. Spend time together before bed, then sleep where you can rest.

A separate room is a way to get sleep while you both work on the cause. It isn’t a replacement for finding out why your partner snores.

Small changes that help you both

• Use a silent alarm. In the AASM survey, 15% of people said they use one so they don’t wake a partner.
• Talk about bedtimes. If you’ve been shifting your bedtime to dodge the snoring, say so. It may not be working for either of you.
• Protect your time together. If you sleep apart, an AASM spokesperson suggests being intentional about time together before you head to separate spaces.
• Say what you need. Room temperature, light and background sound all matter. Agree on a setup you can both sleep in.

How to bring it up kindly

The AASM notes that poor sleep can wear down patience and empathy, and resentment can build. Pick a calm moment, not 3 a.m. when you’re both frustrated.

• Lead with care, not blame. Try: “I’ve noticed you snore a lot, and sometimes it sounds like you stop breathing. I’m a bit worried.”
• Be specific. Say when it happens: every night, on their back, after drinking.
• Share what you’ve heard, not a diagnosis. You can describe pauses or gasps, but a physician decides what they mean.
• Offer to help. Record a few minutes on your phone so they can hear it, or go through the checklist together.
• Keep it a team problem. “How can we both sleep better?” lands better than “You keep me up.”

Many people who snore genuinely don’t know. Hearing a recording can help more than any description.

What to watch for

Most snoring is a nuisance, not a danger. But the AASM says loud snoring can be a sign of obstructive sleep apnea. A bed partner is often the one who hears the signs.

Pay attention if your partner:

• Stops breathing for a few seconds, then snorts or gasps
• Makes choking sounds in their sleep
• Snores loudly most nights, in any position
• Is tired during the day even after a full night in bed
• Has trouble with focus or memory, or wakes up unrested

If you’ve noticed any of these, encourage them to take our “Should I get tested?” checklist and see a physician. MedlinePlus advises talking to a provider about episodes of no breathing at night. Only a physician can diagnose sleep apnea.

What a dentist or doctor can do

A physician can check whether the snoring is simple snoring or sleep apnea, often with a sleep test. The AAO-HNS says heavy snorers, including those whose snoring disturbs a partner’s sleep, should get medical advice.

If it’s simple snoring, there are options. Sleeping on the side Some, less alcohol Some near bedtime and weight loss Strong all help some people. A jaw-advancing mouthpiece Strong has strong evidence for snoring once apnea is ruled out.

A dentist trained in dental sleep medicine can make a custom mouthpiece on a physician’s order. For your partner’s next steps, share how to stop snoring.